In working as a Marriage & Family therapist for over 17 years, I’ve found that people are either Turtles or Bears and occasionally a Burtle. 😉

Here’s a little chart showing you the differences:

Are You a Turtle or a Bear?

When people come to understand themselves and the “other,” who seems SO OTHER–so different, people develop compassion.  With compassion, everything changes.  I’m ok–you’re ok, as the saying goes.


This compassion is often hard won and is a daily practice.  CompassionateTogether™ Coaching is all about helping you to understand yourself and others with compassion.

This understanding of people as Turtles & Bears emerged over the course of seeing couples in my therapy practice ( for over 17 years.  Each time, I came to realize, one party was a Turtle, the other the Bear.

Occasionally, I would learn that 2 Turtles can have a thriving relationship, but that dynamic is a rare one.

And then I realized this understanding of Turtles & Bears is relevant for ALL RELATIONSHIPS.

What if parents and children could understand themselves and one another and come to accept these differences and learn how to engage in this struggle (the struggle is real) EFFECTIVELY.

That is the Turtles & Bears Project.